Dark Chocolate Bark with Pistachios, Cranberries, and Slivered Almonds

Thank god November is over. What a brutal month. July feels like it was 23 seconds ago yet November seemed to last at least eight weeks, which makes perfect sense because math?

vegan chocolate bark

Now that it’s December it’s prime holiday party season (also known as drink-all-the-drinks-and-talk-to-your-neighbor’s-second-husband season). If you’re looking for something to bring to said party or just need a new, inventive way to consume chocolate at home, then this is going to be your shit. You can put LITERALLY ANYTHING IN IT. Dried cherries.  Granola. Chopped Hazelnuts. Stale Cheetos. Cat hair. Your will to live. Anything.


18 ounces chopped dark chocolate (can be broken up bars of any kind, including semi-sweet)

1 cup pistachios, loosely chopped

3/4 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup slivered almonds

1 tablespoon coconut oil

Set a heatproof bowl over a pot of simmering water (or use a double boiler if you have one). Melt the chocolate and add the coconut oil, stirring. While the chocolate is melting, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silpat. Pour the melted chocolate in a large rectangle over the silpat and sprinkle in the nuts and cranberries. Place in the fridge or freezer for 1 hour until firm. Slice or break into pieces. Devour.

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